If Life Were Like A Computer
假如生活是一台電腦
You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel. You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it! You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings. You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy. You could click on “find” (Ctrl, F) to recover your lost remote control and car keys. To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you mess up your life, you could always press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
妳可以通過控制面板增加或者刪除壹些人；可以把孩子放進回收站，然後在妳喜歡的時候再還原。可以通過調整顯示器的設置讓外表更好看；可以在吵鬧的時候關掉音箱；可以點擊“搜索”找到丟失了的遙控器和車鑰匙；鍛煉身體的時候，點擊“運行”。要是妳的生活一團糟，同時按下“ctrl, alt, delete”鍵，壹切重新開始。
He loves chocolate chip cookies
他愛吃巧克力塊曲奇
An old man was laying on his death bed. He had only hours to live when he suddenly smelled chocolate chip cookies. He loved chocolate chip cookies more than anything else in the world. With his last bit of energy, he pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, and to the stairs. Then down the stairs and into the kitchen. There his wife was baking chocolate chip cookies. As he reached for one, he got SMACKED across the back of his hand by the wooden spoon his wife was holding. "Leave them alone!" she said, "They're for the funeral!"
老人躺在床上，只能再活幾個小時了。突然，他聞到了巧克力塊曲奇的味道，他最愛吃這種餅幹了。用他最後一點力氣，老人翻下床，爬到樓梯那，下樓到了廚房。他老伴正在做巧克力塊曲奇。他拿了一塊，這時手背被他老伴用木勺打了一下，“放下，”她說，“這是葬禮上用的！”
Open-book exam
開卷考試
ON THE DAY of our final exam at my Community College in Santa Maria, Calif., we heard that the bookstore had changed its policy and would buy back our business-management textbooks. Before class, several of us dashed over to the store and sold our books. We were seated and waiting for the test when our professor announced that considering the difficulty of the final, it would be an open-book exam.
我在加利福尼亞的聖瑪麗亞市一所社區大學讀書。期末考試那天，聽說書店在回購我們的工商管理課本。考試前，我們幾個趕忙跑到書店把書賣了，隨後，我們坐在教室裏等著考試。這時候教授宣布：考慮到試題的難度，今天的考試我們決定開卷。